Red Carpet Massacre

Required Watchings For The Psychopath In You:

Three...Extremes
Also known to anyone who's not an American as Saam Gaang Yi, Three Extremes is what happens when you get three of the best damn directors Asia has to offer and tell them to raise hell in 125 minutes. Composed of three mini-flicks, Dumplings, Cut, and Box, Three Extremes explores different interpretations of mind-bending horror and finds more than one way to terrify an audience.

Dumplings, directed by Fruit Chan of Hong Kong, winds through the freakish measures that women will take to stay young. Lee, a former actress and high-society broad, wrestles with her age, watching as wrinkles form and as she slowly fades from the spotlight. Fed up and distressed, she voyages into the heart of urban Hong Kong to visit Mei, a woman who is renowned for her age-defying dumplings. Reluctant but headstrong, Lee indulges and quickly becomes addicted as the dumplings' powers take hold, slowly restoring her to her former glory. It's only when she discovers their bizarre and grotesque ingredient that she starts to question whether it's worth it.

Cut, by Park Chan-wook of South Korea, is a little on the lighter side but heavier on the gore. A successful director in Korea's booming film industry seems to have it all; a loving wife, a stable career, and a house that would put European castles to shame. Yet, he seems to remain modest and retain his pre-fame demeanor, despite all of the glitz and glamor circulating around him. It's only when a disgruntled extra kidnaps him and his wife that he's forced to re-examine how he's lived. This extra, deprived of the glory he feels he deserves, steals the spotlight by forcing the forespoken director into a sadistic game of catch-up, chopping off his wife's fingers every five minutes.

And finally we have Box, from Japanese horror superstar Takashi Miike. In my opinion, Box is the most successful of Miike's films because of its time constraints. It quite simply doesn't have enough time to drag on like the rest of his films do, and so all of the action ties in quite nicely. In it, we watch on as the recurring nightmares of a quiet young woman, Kyoko, slowly elevate into hallucinations. Constantly plagued by the feeling and vivid visualizations of being buried alive in a small box, Kyoko begins a tireless search for her long-lost twin to help alleviate the nightmares. When her searching takes her to an abandoned circus, she finds herself staring down her past and, quite literally, the very box she was "buried" in. Inside of this box is something no one expects, and Kyoko soon finds out that there's a lot about her & her sister that she chose to forget.

The best part about Three Extremes as a whole is that no single featurette will stick out to you any more than the rest. Some will rave about the lunacy of Cut, but others will find the grim and sorrowful tone of Box far more uncomfortable. Any way you look at it, this is one devilishly scary film.


The Cell
For some strange reason, this movie seems to be constantly passed over when it comes to mind-bending movies and repeatedly sent to the bargain bin without a second glance. I've yet to understand why because despite the fact that it stars Jennifer Lopez and Vince Vaughn, the movie absolutely rocks.

Catherine Deane, a child psychologist, mingles in an experimental virtual reality used to communicate with comatose patients. Inside of this program, doctors can visually experience the depths of someone's mind and through this scrutinize exactly what's going wrong. The main hope, as Catherine attempts repeatedly, is to coax such patients out of comas.

Enter: Carl Stargher, a murdering psychopath whose main shindig is to trap women in an underground cell, slowly fill it with water until they drown, bleach their bodies completely white, and then hang himself from the ceiling by hooks and masturbate.

As per usual.

Catherine is contacted by the FBI who says that they know Carl is currently holding another young woman hostage in this cell of his. Conveniently, due to his schitzophrenia, Carl collapses as his house is being raided, leaving him incapable of talking. The clock ticks down before this woman's death, and so it's up to Catherine to find the location of the cell by entering Carl's mind.

It's only when she finally steps into his mind that the movie really picks up. Everything about the inside of Carl Stargher is strange, twisted, and disturbing beyond belief. Catherine is faced with a tidal wave of his memories, most of which explain his strange tendencies and murderous binges, but some things simply can't be explained. Like a carnival gone wrong, Carl's mind is a merry-go-round of terror that doesn't just spin around but up and down and any other direction that it pleases to go in.

Everything about The Cell is stunning, from the frightening visuals to the concepts lurking inside both child and killer's minds. It's a giant work of art, with so many references and inspirations that it's so difficult to put your finger on all of them. Nevertheless, The Cell is a must-see for the American McGee's Alice breed of society who's dying for something bittersweet.

Related: Movie Run

Watch And Learn

Required Watchings For The Philosopher In You

Requiem For a Dream 

I'm going to throw out a warning here ahead of time: Requiem For a Dream is an absolutely beautiful, mind-bending movie, but it will fuck you up. Something about Darren Aronofsky films have this marvelously disturbing quality about them. I've yet to see a flick by him that doesn't have at least one scene that absolutely terrifies me, and Requiem For a Dream is no exception. As strange and unusual as the rising action seems to be, it's that last five minutes that will really do you in and leave you thinking.

The plot is convoluted, revolving around a troubled, drug-abusing bunch living in New York's Coney Island. Sara & Harry Goldfarb, a mother and son, turn their backs on society and instead exist in their respective dream worlds, both living with different forms of addiction. Harry is an aspiring heroin dealer and adamant user, while Sara finds herself addicted to television and eventually painkillers. Harry's girlfriend Marion and best friend Tyrone both find themselves wrapped up in their own deluded prisons, but press on with high hopes and aspiring dreams. Marion dreams of becoming a fashion designer, opening her own store with Harry to escape the streets, while Tyrone dips himself into the potentially booming drug market. But these dreams quickly inflate like balloons until the pressure becomes too much, and the only escape for all four of them is to let the balloon pop.

The journey we see as their lives spiral out of control is harrowing, but thought-provoking at best. The movie focuses not on the big picture of desperation and delusion, but instead on the little things that keep them comfortable and make every day bearable. The pop of the pill bottle. A swig of water. The rush of the heroin. It's these things that keep them moving towards the edge of the cliff, even though they're well aware that they'll eventually have to jump. Such human drama and tragedy is one of the finest cinematic examples that there's always fact in fiction.

American Beauty

As his first movie, American Beauty was the deal breaker for Sam Mendes's career. For the writers of the world, it was the kind of thing that made them bang on their heads and shout "Why didn't I think of that!" In essence, it overly-romanticized suburbia to the point of fiction, but it was enthralling nonetheless.

The story follows Lester Burnham, a middle-aged suburbanite who is severely unhappy with his life. He has an uninteresting job, a Stepford wife, and an angst-filled daughter with no clue as to how the real world works. Enthralled by his daughter's best friend, Angela, a seemingly confident and promiscuous cheerleader, Lester begins a philosophical journey into how he can mirror this kind of untroubled teenaged lifestyle at his age. Is it even possible for someone to be happy when the troubles and responsibilities of adulthood are clawing at your feet? More importantly, is it all or nothing when it comes to happiness? Does adulthood really mean the end of freedom instead of the release from bondage? Lester traverses through both worlds, picking apart each carefully to answer such questions. In the end, maybe happiness is trivial and short lived, but at least it makes life sweet while we're still here.

Related: Movie Run

Movie Run

Required Watchings for the Little Girl in You:

Stardust:

Boy oh boy can Neil Gaiman concoct a story! Although it may seem like your typical fairy tale, Stardust is far more fresh than the time period it's set in with an artfully crafted plot line to boot. Granted, it is newly hatched out of theatres, but nevertheless Stardust made my inner seven year old shudder with dreams of princes and enchantment.

Promising his vain and vapid valentine to cross the wall surrounding their small English town and bring her back a falling star, Tristan Thorne begins an expedition in the name of love. He finds himself in the pit of an oversized crater, staring down a beautiful maiden (Yvane) who explains herself to be the falling star. Confused but contented with his findings, Tristan happily chains the wounded maiden with enchanted bindings and begins a long journey back towards his aptly named town of Wall. But where would a story be without hazards? Three evil witches, transfixed on the idea of ripping out Yvane's heart to regain their lost youth, conspire mercilessly to kill the star and her traveling companion. 

In conversation it sounds like your average fairy tale with love, loss, and adventure all around, but really what you have is a majestic thrill-ride that, if nothing else, gives you Robert DeNiro in a dress.

Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer:

As enchanting as the title sounds, I promise that Perfume truly does have a fairy-tale charm about it. Told in one of those faux-historical "It Happened But You've Just Never Heard Of It" styles, Perfume circles around the life of the curiosity that is Jean-Baptiste Grenouille. An orphaned youth born in a Parisian fish market, Grenouille was blessed with a terrifying olfactory sense that would put Bloodhounds to shame. A social outcast because of his ironic lack of personal smell, he begins a mission to capture what he sees as the perfect scent: that of young women. And so begins the bloodbath, yet graciously there's nothing bloody about the murders that take place. Instead, all deaths are presented in a strangely majestic manor with pale-faced women lying on the gravel, looking more like sleeping beauties than attack victims.

The movie is a beauty, with both lush visuals and an enchanting story line. Quintessentially an adult fairy-tale, Perfume captivates the inner romantic in you and your inner child all in one foul swoop.

Next post: Required watchings for the philosopher in you.

Related: Praise The Box And Pass The Remote

Praise The Box And Pass The Remote

Before the blessing that is Netflix descended into my household, I was pretty much a Blockbuster junkie. I would spend weekends chauffeuring back and fourth between the nearby rental store and my home, swapping out comedies for cartoons, horrors for heroics, film noir for fantasy. The entire span of my two-day break revolved around when Blockbuster opened and what time they closed, and more importantly what movie did I want to be stuck with between these times? Before the Netflix queue ever came around, I had a mental queue of everything I had never seen and some things I never wanted to see again. I left no crevice of that store unexplored, even chancing a peek into the sparse back room one Saturday afternoon. My example of R&R after a tolling school-week was curling up on the couch and watching Shogun Assassin or Brazil with plenty of snacks nearby.

But despite all this, there were times that I really couldn't stand those weekend trips. Such times were few and far between, but they happened nonetheless. There was nothing I hated more than when I would hop out in the parking lot and stampede inside, heart pounding, knowing that my weekend was a blank canvas for the painting. And then, after painstaking minutes of trolling up and down each isle, I would find myself with no dvd boxes in hand, nothing jumping off the shelves at me...nothing but a disheartened expression on my face. I didn't know what was wrong with me. There were so many choices. Why couldn't I just pick one?

The problem? I had no idea what I was in the mood to watch.

My mood can change on a dime like the dynamic teenager I am, and whenever I slid through those revolving Blockbuster doors I usually had a pretty good grasp on the character I was channeling at the moment. Sometimes Kat Stratford, others Holly Golightly, it took me many years to figure out that my movie taste depended solely on my character at the time.

The point of this preramble? To prevent anyone and everyone from ever having to go through this nightmare of an expedition. To introduce new movies and give a fresh twist to old ones. To give you, gracious reader, the best bang for your buck. No matter what mood you're in, there are some never-fail flicks out there that can satisfy both your current character and your permanent film taste.

Even if you too are a Netflix convert like myself, queue these babies up!


Required Watchings for The Little Boy in You:

Yu Yu Hakusho: 

 I first found the movie version of this knock-your-socks-off show in a discount bin, shockingly, at Blockbuster. This was about six years ago, and it goes without saying that I've been an addict ever since. Yu Yu Hakusho has this kick-punch of a story line that gets even more webbed and involving the further in you venture, with characters that you'll religiously root for and cringe at their struggles.

The television series follows fourteen year old Yusuke Urameshi, a bite-sized punk who serendipitously gets hit by a car in the first episode and is sent reeling to his death. In classic anime fashion, in flies a pink-haired grim reaper who gives him a second chance at life and the new job title of "Spirit Detective." Believe it or not, it's not as corny as it sounds. Yusuke repeatedly gets the shit beaten out of him by demons and demi-gods of various stature, throwing himself into harms way and venturing into the worlds both above and below planet Earth. This series is Dragon Ball Z without the steroids and corny enemies. Instead, it's a street-wise battle royale with no rules except stay alive and, of course, save the world.

Akira:

Alright, so I'm very clearly a fan of Japanese anime, or "shonen" more specifically, but quite frankly the Japanese know their stuff when it comes to cartoons! Akira (pronounced Ah-Kee-Dah, not Ah-Keer-uh) is a fast-paced feature that centers around a delinquent youth culture thriving in a Japan after the onslaught of a nuclear World War III.

When Tetsuo Shima, a teenaged biker with a big head and a bad attitude, crashes while trying to avoid a child in his path, the government takes both the injured Tetsuo and the boy in. As it turns out, this boy, known as Takashi, is in fact a telekinetic child of the state recently freed by a member of the terrorist "Resistance." While under observation, Tetsuo begins to have violent hallucinations and exhibits psionic powers, causing the government to questionably raise an eyebrow. He displays strong mental abilities, they note, reminiscent of the title character. So the question is, who exactly is Akira?

Next post: Required watchings for the little girl in you!